White House Removes Politics From Government With Cabinet Loyalty Contest
The White House has eliminated politics from the federal government by converting the Cabinet into a taxpayer-funded loyalty competition scored through visits to electorally useful locations. Chief of Staff Susie Wiles has reportedly tracked which administration officials travel to competitive states and congressional districts, awarding credit for promoting President Donald Trump near factories, farms and other backdrops where public policy can be photographed wearing protective eyewear. The system replaces partisan campaigning with the neutral administrative practice of dispatching Cabinet secretaries to battleground districts to explain why the president deserves applause.
“This is probably the least political program anybody has ever created, because the points are based entirely on loyalty, television coverage and whether people say nice things about me,” Trump said. “Politics is about elections, but this is about government officials helping Republicans win elections, which is completely different and frankly much more official.” The competition formally ran from Memorial Day through Labor Day, allowing officials to spend the summer demonstrating that their departments serve all Americans, particularly Americans represented by vulnerable Republican incumbents. Small Business Administration chief Kelly Loeffler reportedly led with at least 18 qualifying trips, followed by Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins, while Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy remained contenders in the closely watched category of Cabinet Official Most Efficiently Repurposed as a Campaign Surrogate.
Officials said the winner receives only bragging rights, although rumors of dinner with Trump reportedly prompted several contestants to ask whether points could be transferred to an enemy. Ethics watchdogs raised concerns under the Hatch Act, relying on the outdated theory that governing and campaigning are separate activities rather than two expense codes for the same motorcade. The White House said ethics lawyers review appearances in advance, ensuring each partisan excursion acquires enough forms, signatures and approved talking points to become an official act of public service. By measuring federal leadership in battleground mileage and presidential praise, the administration has now removed politics from government completely.
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