Trump Orders Navy Forward Into The 1950s
President Donald Trump advanced American naval power into the middle of the previous century Thursday by directing the Pentagon to replace electromagnetic aircraft catapults with steam systems on future Ford-class carriers. Under the order, military planners have two months to explain how the Navy can spend billions of dollars removing newer equipment, redesigning ships and hiring additional sailors to operate machinery discarded during an earlier outbreak of technological progress. The USS Doris Miller, already under construction, is expected to become the first carrier modernized backward, allowing the administration to demonstrate that no project is too advanced to be made older, heavier and more expensive.
Trump described steam as a decisive improvement over electricity, which remains difficult to photograph and has failed to produce a single patriotic cloud. “Electricity is invisible, and you never know what it is doing, but steam is right there, beautiful and powerful, and your grandfather could fix it with a wrench,” Trump said, outlining the engineering principles behind the decision. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth praised the order as a rejection of the Navy’s dependence on smaller crews, easier maintenance and equipment designed during the current century. Sen. Mark Kelly, a former naval aviator, test pilot and astronaut, objected on technical grounds, immediately weakening his case by displaying years of relevant experience.
Administration officials said the conversion could require roughly six times as many catapult operators, proving that steam is also a federal jobs program. The White House is reviewing whether the Steam First doctrine should be expanded across government, with early proposals calling for pneumatic tubes at the Pentagon, typewriters at federal agencies and weather forecasts delivered by courier before the weather occurs. Officials denied that the policy reflects nostalgia, noting that nostalgia is generally cheaper and does not require rebuilding an aircraft carrier. By paying more people to operate more machinery with more maintenance, the United States has conclusively established that the fastest route to military superiority runs directly backward.
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