Trump Sets National Vote Price At $5,000
President Donald Trump announced a major election-integrity reform Tuesday, eliminating the corrupt practice of secretly purchasing political influence by publicly pricing every adult American voter at $5,000. The president promised citizens a “dividend” if Republicans retain the House and Senate on November 3, replacing the cumbersome democratic tradition of weighing policy, competence and character with the more efficient question of whether five grand would help. The proposal would cost more than $1 trillion, require congressional approval and arrive after the election, three safeguards designed to ensure voters receive the full campaign-promise experience.
Trump described the plan as the cleanest transaction in American political history. “This is not buying votes, because buying votes is done secretly by Democrats with envelopes, coupons and probably fake names,” Trump said. “We are doing it beautifully, right out in the open, and every American gets the same tremendous price.” Election-law experts noted that conventional bribery involves exchanging money for official action, while the Trump plan exchanges the possibility of money for temporary enthusiasm, congressional majorities and a useful email address.
Republican candidates have largely avoided campaigning on the dividend, reflecting the party’s traditional fiscal principle that trillion-dollar giveaways are irresponsible unless announced by Trump. Previous proposals for tariff-funded rebates and government-efficiency checks produced no payments, confirming that Americans are not being bribed so much as enrolled in a sweepstakes whose main prize is continued correspondence from the campaign. Supporters nevertheless praised the plan’s market-based approach, under which every citizen has equal access to a check that does not exist and may be funded by taxes they pay themselves.
Democrats called the proposal blatant vote-buying, thereby exposing their hostility toward consumer choice, free enterprise and Americans receiving borrowed money with their own names printed on it. Under the administration’s upgraded Constitution, Congress retains the power of the purse, Trump retains the power of the promise, and voters retain the power to mistake one for the other. The United States has therefore ended political corruption by establishing a transparent national vote price of $5,000.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.