Trump Asks Supreme Court To Declare Ballroom Essential To National Defense
President Donald Trump asked the Supreme Court to protect the nation’s most sacred executive power: replacing the White House East Wing with a 90,000-square-foot, $400 million gold-trimmed ballroom before Congress can locate the relevant appropriations clause. A divided federal appeals court halted aboveground construction after concluding that presidents may not create major federal facilities through “executive self-help,” a doctrine the administration said improperly elevates written law over architectural momentum. The emergency filing warned that every day without the ballroom leaves the United States unable to project adequate chandelier strength.
Trump described the project as an integrated national-security complex whose dance floor, crystal fixtures and donor capacity would deter foreign aggression more effectively than another windowless briefing room. “This ballroom is national security at the highest level, because foreign leaders see the gold, they see the size, and they know America has more tables than anybody,” Trump said. Solicitor General D. John Sauer argued that Article II gives the commander in chief authority over military operations, diplomatic receptions and any construction project too expensive to stop without admitting someone should have asked permission.
Courts allowed work on underground bunkers, medical facilities and other security improvements to continue, but administration officials said a bomb shelter without a gilded reception hall is merely a basement and therefore dangerously European. Chief Justice John Roberts gave challengers several days to respond, extending the period during which hostile governments know the United States lacks a secure location where major donors can eat filet mignon beneath imported crystal while discussing fiscal restraint. Officials also said the ballroom would strengthen deterrence by forcing visiting diplomats to spend several hours surrounded by visible evidence that the president can obtain approval from anyone except Congress.
Congress could still authorize the project through legislation, but the White House rejected that option as an unacceptable outbreak of representative government. Administration lawyers warned that allowing lawmakers to regulate presidential construction could establish a precedent under which future presidents might need permission for a moat, a private coliseum or a fortified gift shop selling executive privilege by the yard. They further argued that the project is already sufficiently advanced to satisfy the traditional constitutional test under which an unauthorized undertaking becomes lawful once reversing it would be expensive, embarrassing and bad for the caterers. The Constitution plainly guarantees the president an enormous ballroom.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.