Smithsonian Will Improve Accuracy By Removing Evidence

The Trump administration announced a new historical-accuracy initiative that will help the Smithsonian Institution tell America’s story by withholding artifacts, funding and assistance from anyone professionally familiar with it. In an Aug. 28 letter to the Smithsonian’s Board of Regents, Interior Secretary Doug Burgum and White House domestic policy adviser Vince Haley warned that federal agencies could stop lending objects, helping acquire collections and providing discretionary grants. The warning followed a White House review accusing the National Museum of American History of “extreme political activism,” a curatorial offense generally committed by placing documented events in chronological order where visitors can see them.

President Donald Trump said the reforms would protect Americans from exhibits containing dates, context or consequences not personally approved by the executive branch. “People walk into these museums, they see an old object, and suddenly they’re told something happened before I was president, which is divisive and frankly impossible,” Trump said. “We’re going to have beautiful history, very positive history, with tremendous artifacts if the artifacts agree with us, and no little signs underneath making everybody feel bad.” Under the administration’s breakthrough method, scholars would no longer need primary sources, institutional independence or inconvenient items preserved by eyewitnesses. Museums could instead display patriotic adjectives beside empty cases, allowing visitors to admire the nation’s past without being distracted by evidence that it occurred.

Smithsonian leaders have defended the institution’s scholarly independence, an alarming position suggesting that national museums should preserve national history rather than function as seasonal décor for the president controlling federal procurement. Administration officials said withdrawing cooperation would not amount to political interference; it would simply help curators reach the correct conclusions voluntarily while standing beneath a suspended weight labeled “federal funding.” Visitors disappointed by absent artifacts, revised captions or galleries devoted entirely to presidential morale will still receive a complete educational experience. By watching evidence vanish whenever it becomes politically inconvenient, the public will finally encounter the most historically accurate exhibit in Washington: proof that removing history is the best way to preserve it.

* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.