Blanche Saves Conservatives From Government Handouts
Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche protected Trump allies from the corrupting influence of taxpayer money Sunday by rescinding the Justice Department’s $1.776 billion Anti-Weaponization Fund as Republican senators threatened to block his confirmation. The fund was intended to compensate conservatives who said they had been politically persecuted by the federal government, but Blanche concluded that depositing federal checks into their bank accounts could expose them to socialism, financial security and the indignity of receiving precisely what they had demanded.
President Donald Trump praised the cancellation as the administration’s greatest fiscal sacrifice since the last greatest fiscal sacrifice. “Todd has saved these tremendous patriots from becoming wealthy victims, which is much worse than being regular victims, frankly,” Trump said. “They wanted the money, everybody wanted it, but now they get something more valuable: the chance to keep complaining forever.” Administration officials said the decision preserves the plaintiffs’ most important political asset by ensuring their grievances remain uncompensated, renewable and suitable for television appearances through at least the next election cycle.
Sens. John Cornyn and Thom Tillis, whose opposition had stalled Blanche’s nomination, welcomed the move as proof that congressional oversight works whenever lawmakers threaten to withhold a promotion until the executive branch temporarily stops doing the controversial thing. Under Blanche’s new doctrine, alleged victims of government weaponization will receive the traditional remedy reserved for Americans without sufficient leverage: no money, no process and a commemorative opportunity to explain on cable news why the absence of both constitutes a landmark victory.
The fund remains embedded in the underlying settlement provision, leaving it dead in the customary Washington sense: contractually breathing, politically useful and resting beneath a tarp until public attention moves elsewhere. Officials emphasized that this technical survival does not weaken the administration’s fiscal achievement, because canceled spending counts as canceled even when the obligation remains available for later use. Conservatives have therefore been rescued from socialism by being denied the government money they demanded.
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