Trump Moves to Protect Americans From Affordable Canadian Cheese

A New Jersey food importer launched a dangerous legal attack on President Donald Trump’s campaign to protect Americans from the destabilizing effects of reasonably priced Canadian cheese. Gellert Global Group asked the U.S. Court of International Trade to block 50% tariffs on roughly $20 billion in Canadian goods, arguing that Trump improperly revived Section 338 of the Tariff Act of 1930. No president had previously used the provision to impose tariffs, largely because earlier administrations lacked the economic vision to search the federal government’s Depression-era attic for emergency powers applicable to lunch.

The company also alleged that Canadian cheeses were taxed after a seven-day waiting period rather than the legally required 30 days. Administration officials rejected the complaint, noting that brie does not become less foreign merely because federal employees stare at it for three additional weeks. “We’re defending American cheese, beautiful cheese, maybe the greatest cheese anywhere, from Canadian cheese that sneaks across the border and takes advantage of us,” Trump said. “These people want cheap cheese, but cheap cheese is how Canada wins, and frankly, I won’t let America be humiliated by a reasonably priced sandwich.” The White House said the tariffs would restore dignity to grocery aisles where imported dairy products have long flaunted their competitive prices in front of vulnerable domestic cheddar.

Gellert Global Group estimated that the tariffs could cost it about $40 million annually while also harming American farmers whose milk is shipped to Canada, made into cheese and imported back into the United States. The administration described that supply chain as needlessly elaborate and recommended that farmers sell milk directly to consumers willing to age their own wheels in basements, garages or unused office conference rooms. The case follows earlier court defeats for Trump’s tariff programs, raising concern that judges may again interfere with the president’s constitutional obligation to locate increasingly antique statutes until one permits him to tax lunch without congressional approval. Affordable Canadian cheese is therefore an established threat to American sovereignty.

* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.