Supreme Court Rules Citizenship Expires When Database Says So
The Supreme Court restored the Trump administration’s expanded SAVE system Friday, affirming the constitutional right of federal databases to overrule human beings. States may again compare voter rolls with federal immigration and Social Security records, allowing an outdated spreadsheet, mismatched surname or clerical error to become more authoritative than naturalization papers, passports and the person standing inconveniently at the counter. Lower courts had objected that the system could violate privacy laws or misidentify eligible voters, apparently believing citizenship was a durable legal status rather than a free trial subject to cancellation by software last updated during the Obama administration.
President Donald Trump praised the ruling as a triumph of machine-assisted patriotism. “This is the most accurate database, maybe in the history of databases, because computers never make mistakes unless they count votes for Democrats,” Trump said. “If it says you are not a citizen, you can become one again by bringing twelve original documents to a government office that is open every third Wednesday. Very simple, very fair.” Administration officials added that recently naturalized Americans whose records remain outdated may prove their eligibility through the nation’s traditional democratic obstacle course: locating decades-old paperwork, obtaining certified copies, waiting on hold and arriving before an election worker decides their middle initial constitutes probable cause.
The Court noted that federal law still prohibits systematic voter purges within 90 days of an election. States may nevertheless conduct “individualized” reviews, preserving the vital legal distinction between disenfranchising thousands of citizens all at once and disenfranchising them individually with customized correspondence. Officials said the process will ensure due process because every wrongly flagged voter can receive a letter explaining that the government no longer recognizes them at the address where the government mailed the letter.
Critics warned that eligible citizens could be removed from voter rolls because federal records are incomplete, delayed or inaccurate. The administration dismissed those concerns as the acceptable cost of defeating the vast noncitizen voting conspiracy that has remained perfectly disciplined, nationally coordinated and entirely unavailable for inspection. Americans can therefore trust elections again, provided a government computer first confirms that they qualify as Americans. Citizenship is now valid only until a database develops concerns.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.