Feral Cat Infestation Derails Senate Session
Senate proceedings came to an abrupt halt yesterday. The reason? A horde of feral cats reportedly stampeded through the Senate Chamber, causing lawmakers to hastily evacuate. The source of these creatures remains unknown. In the ensuing chaos, Senator Ted Cruz was said to have chasing one of the cats when he disappeared, his legislation on climate change temporarily forgotten.
Meanwhile, President Joe Biden, upon hearing the news, declared it a national holiday, stating that he had always been a fan of felines. The president, however, soon retracted his statement, after realizing the cats were not real and were instead an elaborate prank orchestrated by a group of high school students visiting the capitol on a school trip.
Aftermath and Repercussions
By the end of the day, order was restored, the cats were revealed to be nothing more than escapees from a local shelter, and Senator Cruz was found at a local ice cream shop, still in shock. The high school pranksters were given a stern lecture about respect for national institutions, but not before they had their photo taken with the president. The climate change legislation will resume at the next Senate session.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.