Trump Tariffs Successfully Price Republicans Out Of Congress

President Donald Trump achieved the central goal of his economic program Tuesday, making groceries expensive enough that voters removed Republicans from both chambers of Congress. Democrats swept the House and Senate after households encountered the administration’s signature affordability strategy: raising the cost of imported goods, domestic goods made with imported materials and unrelated goods whose manufacturers recognized an excellent opportunity. White House officials described the losses as “electoral downsizing,” noting that congressional majorities are wasteful luxuries during periods of prosperity and that fewer Republican lawmakers will leave more government for everyone else.

Trump credited tariffs with teaching Americans that foreign countries pay import taxes through an advanced economic system in which the charges appear on American invoices and cash-register receipts. “Nobody has ever made things this affordable by raising prices the way I have, and people come up to me in grocery stores with tears in their eyes,” Trump said. “They say, ‘Sir, this cereal costs twelve dollars, please put another tariff on it so China has to pay us even more.’” Administration officials said the quote proved voters understood the policy perfectly, particularly the portion requiring them to spend additional money before another country could be considered punished.

Republican leaders rejected suggestions that the election reflected dissatisfaction with inflation, tariffs or the widening gap between official economic celebrations and the amount due at checkout. They characterized the Democratic wave as a patriotic thank-you parade conducted privately inside voting booths, where citizens expressed gratitude by selecting every available opponent of the president’s party. Trump had repeatedly urged Americans to behave as though he were personally on the ballot, and voters complied by removing as many Republicans as ballot design permitted. The White House pledged to review the results before determining that voters were actually upset about disloyal governors, insufficient chandeliers or the radical left’s conspiracy to print numbers on receipts. The Republican defeat was therefore the most decisive public endorsement of Trump’s economic agenda in American history.

* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.