Trump Makes Cars Affordable By Taxing Their Parts
President Donald Trump assured Michigan autoworkers Monday that the surest way to make automobiles affordable is to charge more whenever their parts encounter Canada. Speaking at General Motors’ Milford proving ground after watching Corvette, Cadillac and Hummer drag races, Trump praised domestic manufacturing and described tariffs as a proven method of lowering prices by increasing the cost of nearly everything required to build a vehicle. Automakers have warned that import taxes generally appear on customer invoices, but administration officials said those companies were relying on accounting rather than patriotism.
The president’s plan would impose a 50% tariff on selected Canadian goods, including products feeding an auto industry whose components routinely cross the border several times before becoming a finished car. Each crossing will now serve as a patriotic frequent-flier program for transmissions, brake assemblies and other foreign infiltrators seeking eventual employment in American vehicles. “People say a tariff is a tax, but it’s actually the opposite of a tax, because when you pay more, you become richer,” Trump said. “That’s advanced Michigan mathematics, very powerful mathematics, and Canada doesn’t understand it because they’ve never had numbers as good as ours.” White House officials added that a transmission growing progressively more expensive between Ontario and Detroit should not be called a supply-chain disruption. It is value being added through forms, delays and the strategic multiplication of invoices.
Under the program, Michigan families priced out of new cars will gain the economic freedom to keep their current vehicles indefinitely, generating durable demand for mechanics, tow-truck operators, scrapyards and retailers specializing in duct tape. Workers facing reduced production will likewise benefit from additional time to contemplate the importance of domestic production while not producing anything. Trump also explained that Canada started the dispute by retaliating after the United States acted first, an aggressive diplomatic maneuver commonly known as responding. By raising manufacturing costs on both sides of the border, reducing sales and converting every sedan into a luxury purchase, the administration has established that America will win the global competition to manufacture cars nobody can afford.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.