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Trump Immigration Crackdown Begins Deporting Republican Majority

Trump Immigration Crackdown Begins Deporting Republican Majority

Republicans celebrated Thursday after determining that President Donald Trump’s immigration crackdown is operating so efficiently it may remove the party’s congressional majority from Washington. Polls showing growing disapproval of the administration’s raids and deportations were welcomed by party officials as evidence that the program has expanded beyond immigrants and begun processing Republican voters. Rep. Maria Elvira Salazar underscored the achievement by filming a campaign advertisement outside the White House criticizing the crackdown she had helped empower, an advanced electoral procedure known as seeking asylum from one’s own voting record.

Republican strategists said voters abandoning the GOP are effectively self-deporting, sparing federal agents the expense of loading them onto buses. “We’re removing millions and millions of illegal voters from the Republican Party, people with ballots and opinions who were never properly loyal in the first place,” Trump said. “They’re going to the Democrats now, and that means our borders are finally secure.” The policy has proved especially productive among Hispanic voters, small-business owners, rural employers and families who had assumed “criminal aliens” did not include their neighbors, employees, relatives or the contractor who has repaired their roof since 2009.

Texas Democrat James Talarico has criticized Trump’s approach while also faulting former President Joe Biden’s border record, recklessly suggesting that voters can distinguish between controlling immigration and treating every Spanish-speaking landscaper as an escaped supervillain. Republicans rejected that distinction as an elitist demand that government policy contain both nouns and limits. Officials noted that broad enforcement is simpler because agents need not waste time determining whether a person is dangerous, undocumented, lawfully present, a citizen or merely standing near a hardware store before sunrise.

Party leaders remain confident that any resulting losses in Congress will validate the crackdown. If Republicans lose the House or Senate, officials explained, the defeat will demonstrate their unwavering commitment to removing undocumented immigrants, insufficiently documented citizens, inadequately grateful voters and, at the final stage of enforcement, fully documented Republican officeholders. America demanded mass removal, and the Republican majority has now been successfully deported.

* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.

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