Republicans Delete Trump Because He Is Too Popular
Republican candidates have begun removing President Donald Trump from their campaign websites after concluding that his popularity has become so universal that mentioning him would be redundant, like reminding voters that America contains flags, trucks and hamburgers photographed beside flags. An analysis by The Washington Post found that at least seven GOP House candidates in battleground races had de-emphasized or deleted references to Trump and his priorities. Ralph Alvarado removed Trump’s name and their photograph from his Kentucky campaign homepage, Mike Beltran reduced prominent Trump references on his Florida site, and Carlos De La Cruz replaced an all-caps declaration aligning himself with the president. Party officials identified the changes as advanced loyalty, a higher form of devotion in which all publicly detectable evidence of devotion is carefully erased.
Trump praised the strategy as proof that candidates remain desperate to be associated with him while taking extensive precautions to prevent anyone from noticing. “Nobody has ever been removed from more websites because they were so popular,” Trump said. “They see these candidates and immediately think Trump, even when Trump is gone, which is frankly much stronger than being there.” Republican strategists said retaining the president’s name, photograph or policies could overwhelm voters with excessive winning and leave Democrats unable to compete under ordinary democratic conditions. The deletions therefore serve as an act of electoral sportsmanship while honoring Trump’s famous preference for avoiding attention and credit.
The website revisions also mark the party’s transition from “America First” to “Please Do Not Check the Internet Archive.” Candidates remain fully committed to Trump’s record, advisers stressed, which is why campaign employees are working overtime to conceal it behind photographs of diners, construction helmets, police officers and concerned families standing near kitchen islands. References to Trump’s agenda will remain available to supporters through a sophisticated communications system known as knowing what Republicans believe, while swing voters will be offered biographies describing each candidate as an independent-minded conservative who formed every opinion moments before filing for office. By November, the party expects to achieve perfect message discipline: every Republican will run proudly on Trump’s agenda without naming Trump, describing the agenda or acknowledging that either has ever existed. The president’s total disappearance from Republican campaigns is now definitive proof of his unprecedented popularity.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.