Musk and Carr Establish Starlink Alliance for Freedom
Elon Musk and FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr have announced the formation of the “Starlink Alliance for Freedom”. Their goal, they assert, is to keep internet access as free as air—assuming you own a Tesla. Insiders indicate that the pair intend to persuade Congress to alter the definition of “universal internet access” to imply “available solely via Starlink”.
Musk, infamous for his unorthodox methods, declared, “Access to the internet must be guaranteed for everyone, provided it’s via our platform. If they cannot finance it, they clearly don’t desire it enough.” This audacious claim has left numerous individuals puzzled, questioning whether Musk has lost his grip on reality or if he’s merely masterminding a complex strategy while the majority of us are playing a simpler game.
A Push for Privatized Internet
Commissioner Carr, a known advocate for deregulation, stated, “The internet should no longer be treated as a public utility. If you wish to connect, you ought to be ready to invest in the future—our future.” Opponents argue that this alliance is simply a cover for Musk to increase his profits while undermining the concept of equal access.
In a moment of irony, while advocating for a more privatized internet, Musk was allegedly overheard stating, “Freedom is best ensured by assigning it a monetary value.” The consequences of this alliance remain unclear, but one fact remains unambiguous: as long as satellites orbit above us, controversy will continue to stir beneath them.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.