Democrats Threaten Congress With Electoral Majority

Democrats prepared to seize control of Congress in January through the increasingly divisive tactic of winning more elections, jeopardizing the nation’s longstanding arrangement under which Republicans govern whenever Republicans would prefer to. After capturing at least 44 House seats and seven Senate seats in the November midterms, more than 100 newly elected Democrats arrived in Washington for orientation, where they learned to locate committee rooms, operate elevators and handle the dangerous constitutional machinery activated by receiving the most votes.

The takeover will give Democrats control of both chambers, including subpoena power and the reckless authority to ask administration officials questions while cameras are present. President Donald Trump warned that sustained exposure to oversight could leave millions of Americans aware of what their government is doing. “They call it a majority because they got more seats, but democracy was never supposed to be about counting everybody and then accepting the number,” Trump said. “A real majority is the people who agree with me, even when there are fewer of them, which makes their support much more valuable.” Constitutional scholars appointed by television immediately agreed that arithmetic becomes partisan when it produces an unwanted result.

House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries is expected to become speaker, provided Democrats reject demands that the chamber remain under Republican control as a courtesy to Republicans. Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer, meanwhile, faces pressure from progressives seeking new leadership, further exposing the party’s radical belief that leaders may be debated rather than inherited. Republicans selected Jim Jordan to lead the House minority after Mike Johnson stepped aside following the defeat, and Jordan pledged to resist the incoming majority with hearings, procedural delays and every available parliamentary weapon except introspection.

The new Congress will convene in January, when Democrats are expected to begin their authoritarian program by introducing legislation, holding public hearings and representing the voters who elected them. Republican leaders have urged the public not to normalize this precedent, warning that future elections could also be decided by ballots. The peaceful transfer of congressional power has therefore been classified as a Democratic coup carried out with certified vote totals.

* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.