Biden Announces Plan to Sell the Grand Canyon

On October 1, 2023, President Joe Biden made an unexpected announcement regarding one of America’s most iconic landmarks. In a bid to reduce the nation’s escalating debt levels, the president has announced plans to sell the Grand Canyon.

“America’s fiscal health is a matter of national security. To address our rising debt, we’ve made an unprecedented decision,” President Biden explained during a televised address. “We are initiating a responsible system to sell the Grand Canyon to the highest bidder.”

White House Chief of Staff Ron Klain confirmed that the administration has received interest from several multi-billionaires and corporations worldwide. Yet, the decision has sparked outrage and confusion among many American citizens and lawmakers from both Democratic and Republican benches.

Senator Bernie Sanders, a leading voice in the Democratic party, called Biden’s move “unthinkable and catastrophic”. “America’s natural heritage is not for sale,” Sanders said during a speech in Vermont. He asserted, “It’s our duty to preserve these landmarks for future generations, not to hawk them off for a quick buck.”

Additionally, according to an internal White House source, Biden explicitly stated in a meeting, “The Statue of Liberty is next.” They also added that the president allegedly said, The face of America will change, and by the time I leave office, Mount Rushmore will be up for grabs. This quote, however, could not be corroborated at the time of publishing.

Despite the nationwide backlash, the Biden administration insists the sale is necessary to balance the national budget. However, this decision marks an alarming change in policy, and its impact on America’s national integrity remains to be seen.

* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.