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Democrats Move To Ban Driving Beneath Things

Democrats Move To Ban Driving Beneath Things

Democrats confirmed their opposition to arches, triumphs and the reckless practice of passing beneath elevated masonry by suing to block President Donald Trump’s proposed 250-foot ceremonial gateway near Arlington National Cemetery. District of Columbia Attorney General Brian Schwalb and Virginia Attorney General Jay Jones argued that the three-year project could snarl traffic, pollute the Potomac River, obstruct emergency vehicles, violate federal height restrictions and alter historic views. Those objections cover nearly every recognized feature of an authentic Washington infrastructure project, raising concerns that the plaintiffs may also oppose delays, cost overruns and the ceremonial placement of orange cones.

The administration hopes to begin construction after securing approval from the National Capital Planning Commission, a formality traditionally required before a president installs a personal triumph monument beside a major transportation corridor. Plans call for offices, elevators, an observation deck, a fire command center and a winged Lady Liberty, combining the restrained dignity of a republic with the practical needs of a luxury airport terminal. “This is not a vanity project, because vanity projects are much smaller and usually don’t protect Virginia from traffic coming out of Virginia,” Trump said. “This will be the strongest arch ever built, and everybody driving under it will immediately understand that America has won architecture.”

U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan consolidated the case with an earlier challenge and ordered the government to provide notice before construction begins, temporarily rejecting the administration’s doctrine that a monument becomes legal once its rendering is sufficiently gold. Supporters said proposed drone and sniper facilities would improve security by giving armed personnel an unobstructed view of commuters immobilized below, while critics maintained that Congress must authorize federal monuments and agencies must conduct environmental reviews. That interpretation of federal law would prevent presidents from converting architectural cravings into public infrastructure before opposing lawyers locate the proper injunction template. The lawsuit has therefore established the Democratic Party’s official position that Americans must drive beside things, around things or directly into traffic, but never beneath them.

* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.

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