Justice Department Deploys Monitors To Protect Colorado From Excessive Voting
The Justice Department announced it will send federal election monitors to Adams County, Colorado, extending the premium federal-intimidation experience previously reserved for defendants, whistleblowers and Republicans who clap at insufficient volume. Officials initially notified both Adams and Douglas counties before explaining that Douglas County had been included “in error,” a demonstration of the meticulous accuracy the department now plans to impose on ballot counting. Adams County was selected because federal law requires Spanish-language voting assistance there and because federal concern for civil rights traditionally intensifies whenever a competitive congressional district appears nearby.
The county sits inside Colorado’s closely watched 8th Congressional District, where Republican Rep. Gabe Evans faces Democratic challenger Manny Rutinel. President Donald Trump praised the monitoring operation as a historic defense of democracy against the corrosive influence of citizens participating in it. “We’re sending very strong monitors, tremendous monitors, people with excellent eyesight who can tell whether a ballot is legal just by how confidently it enters the machine,” Trump said. “Honest Republican ballots move beautifully. Other ballots sometimes look nervous, and frankly that tells you everything.”
Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold’s office noted that federal observers need state authorization to enter nonpublic election areas, an extremist interpretation based on the obscure theory that Colorado elections remain subject to Colorado law. The Civil Rights Division led by Harmeet Dhillon is planning broader monitoring efforts, because nothing reassures voters about free elections like federal employees taking detailed notes beside a battleground ballot-processing room while an administration publicly predicts fraud whenever Democrats receive a mathematically inconvenient number of votes.
Officials emphasized that residents should not feel intimidated. The monitors will merely stand nearby, watch silently, document anything that resembles participation and provide the calming presence of a federal government that has already reached its conclusion. Adams County voters may therefore cast ballots normally, provided they proceed slowly, apologize for any Spanish-language assistance and maintain reassuring eye contact with Washington. The Justice Department’s oversight will guarantee a fair election by treating every Democratic vote as evidence that the election was unfair.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.