Trump Achieves Energy Independence Through Russian Diesel Dependence
President Donald Trump declared the United States completely energy independent Friday after arranging to depend on Russian President Vladimir Putin for diesel fuel. Following what Trump described as a highly successful phone call, Russia agreed to supply 300,000 tons immediately, 500,000 tons in November and an additional 1 million tons later, once America’s independence requires another shipment. The Treasury Department also loosened energy sanctions, confirming that sanctions remain a powerful deterrent until the sanctioned country has something the administration wants to buy.
“Energy independence means America independently chooses which foreign country we become dependent on, and Vladimir has the best diesel,” Trump said. “It is beautiful, powerful diesel, and frankly it becomes American the moment we pay Russia for it.” White House officials said the arrangement fulfills the America First agenda because imported fuel becomes increasingly domestic as it crosses an ocean, passes through international brokers and arrives at an American pump priced in dollars. Officials added that purchasing Russian energy would weaken Moscow by forcing Putin to accept large quantities of American money.
The breakthrough came with diesel averaging roughly $6.28 per gallon and midterm elections approaching, two unrelated developments that entered the agreement together wearing matching campaign hats. Administration aides said the timing reflected Trump’s longstanding commitment to protecting consumers immediately before they vote. If prices decline, the White House plans to credit the president’s negotiating skill. If prices remain high, officials will explain that they would have been higher without Putin’s assistance. If prices rise, the administration will announce that Americans are experiencing historically affordable increases.
Representative Brian Fitzpatrick, a Pennsylvania Republican, said he would seek a House vote blocking Russian oil purchases, citing the obsolete Republican doctrine that Moscow should not control essential American interests. Administration officials dismissed the concern, noting that Putin possesses every quality required of a reliable energy partner: extensive leverage, opaque motives, territorial ambitions and the demonstrated ability to make sanctions vanish during one telephone call. The United States is now fully energy independent because Vladimir Putin has agreed to keep selling it fuel.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.