Trump Advisers Export America First Election Integrity
President Donald Trump hailed advisers Chris LaCivita and James Blair for proving that America First can be exported to any Russia-aligned Balkan government with enough cash, an anxious electorate and a lobbyist who answers on weekends. The two operatives, who help steer Trump’s political operation through MAGA Inc., spent roughly 48 hours in Republika Srpska advising officials on election integrity while Republicans confronted a difficult midterm campaign at home. The nationalist ruling party in the Serb-dominated region of Bosnia and Herzegovina, which maintains close ties to Vladimir Putin, retained power in Sunday’s elections, confirming that American expertise remains effective wherever the desired result has already been selected.
Administration officials praised the visit as a breakthrough in patriotic multitasking, the Washington practice of defending American democracy during office hours and licensing its most profitable features abroad after lunch. Trump initially threatened to dismiss the advisers if their overseas work created a conflict of interest, but aides explained that a conflict of interest is simply an interest that has obtained the correct introductions. “These are tremendous consultants, maybe the most consulting consultants anywhere, and they taught very important people how to protect elections from uncertainty, counting and other dangerous forms of voter interference,” Trump said. “I didn’t know they went, I don’t know who paid them, and that total lack of knowledge proves the operation was completely transparent.”
Republika Srpska has spent millions of dollars cultivating relationships in Trump’s Washington, including a $35,000-a-month contract with the Trump-connected firm Continental Strategy. Foreign-policy specialists said the arrangement reflects the administration’s streamlined diplomatic doctrine, under which governments no longer require shared democratic values, strategic alignment or even a convincing commitment to democracy. They need a valid credit card, a sufficiently flexible definition of sovereignty and a consultant capable of placing “election integrity” on an invoice without laughing. LaCivita and Blair are expected to resume work on America’s midterms once every available overseas strongman has received a complimentary consultation on protecting elections from voters. The United States has therefore secured democracy by selling it to the highest bidder.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.