Supreme Court Reaffirms Independence From Everyone Except Trump
The Supreme Court opened its new term Monday by reaffirming its sacred independence from Congress, public opinion, ethical oversight and every political influence not personally transmitted by President Donald Trump. The 6-3 conservative majority faces disputes involving the administration’s immigration crackdown, climate litigation and restrictions on AR-15-style rifles after a summer of emergency applications that allowed constitutional deliberation to proceed at the speed of a customer demanding the manager. Chief Justice John Roberts formally convened the term while Trump informally resumed the justices’ performance reviews, grading decisions on the traditional legal scale of “Beautiful,” “Very Unfair” and “Who Appointed This Person?”
Trump has criticized all three of his appointees—Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett—after rulings he disliked, generously clarifying that lifetime tenure includes lifetime technical support for the president who selected them. “These judges are completely independent, more independent than any judges in history, and they independently know who put them there and what the correct answer is,” Trump said, summarizing the separation of powers as James Madison might have done with a social-media account and a loyalty program. Under the updated arrangement, justices remain free to interpret statutes, weigh precedent and consult the Constitution, provided none of those materials contradicts the latest presidential post.
Legal scholars welcomed the system as a long-overdue modernization of judicial review. Rather than spending months parsing legislative history and competing constitutional doctrines, clerks can search for the president’s name, count the capital letters and determine whether an unfavorable opinion would trigger a late-night denunciation. Roberts may still invoke institutional legitimacy, while Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito can continue demonstrating that judicial ethics are strongest when treated as private lifestyle preferences. Liberal justices Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan and Ketanji Brown Jackson will retain their traditional role of writing dissents for future law students and present-day fundraisers.
The Court is expected to issue several landmark opinions, followed by prompt clarifications whenever Trump explains what the justices meant. Each ruling will confirm that federal judges may decide cases without fear or favor, so long as they refresh the president’s feed before voting. The Supreme Court is therefore fully independent, and Donald Trump independently decides what that means.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.