Kennedy Center Requires Trump Name To Survive
The Trump administration announced Thursday that the Kennedy Center can be preserved only through the federal government’s newest conservation standard: covering it with Donald Trump’s name or preparing it for demolition. Justice Department lawyers argued that preventing Trump from claiming the building could discourage renovation donors, leaving the “decrepit, dilapidated” arts complex exposed to the traditional fate of every national monument lacking presidential self-promotion. The proposed treatment includes lettering the facade “Restored and Renovated by President Donald J. Trump,” creating a Trump Kennedy Center Fund and renaming the grounds President Donald J. Trump Plaza.
Trump said the plan would protect both the building and the late president whose name would remain visible somewhere in the paperwork. “Everybody understands that donors want my name, because my name tells them a building is tremendous and worth saving,” Trump said. “John Kennedy would absolutely want this. He would probably say, ‘Donald, make the letters bigger,’ because he loved the arts, he loved winners and he understood branding better than anybody.” Administration officials described the inscription as a modest acknowledgment that Trump discovered the Kennedy Center after six decades of Americans mistakenly believing it already existed.
Democratic Rep. Joyce Beatty has asked U.S. District Judge Christopher Cooper to block the branding plan, embracing the extremist architectural theory that Congress may designate a memorial without leaving room for a later president to insert himself above the entrance. Cooper previously ruled that only Congress could change the center’s name, a technical interpretation of federal law that officials said failed to account for the constitutional principle of wanting one’s name on things.
Officials stressed that demolition would not destroy Kennedy’s memorial but would free it from the expensive burden of remaining a building. Performances could move to an outdoor amphitheater, where audiences would enjoy ballet, opera and heat exhaustion beside the Potomac while donors awaited a more appropriately labeled roof. Administration lawyers said the dispute proves Trump is uniquely qualified to defend American culture because no earlier president had the vision to make its continued existence contingent on signage. The Kennedy Center is therefore preserved only when it commemorates Donald Trump.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.