Senate Defeats Inflation With 100 Percent Tariffs
Senators voted 86-11 Friday to defeat high prices by authorizing President Donald Trump to make imported goods cost up to 100 percent more, a breakthrough long concealed by economists’ dependence on arithmetic. The sweeping Russia sanctions package, negotiated by Sens. Lindsey Graham and Richard Blumenthal, targets Russian officials, financial institutions, energy projects and major purchasers of Russian oil and gas. More importantly, it gives Trump another tariff lever large enough to operate from a golf cart.
Trump explained the policy using the appliance-based economics that made him the nation’s foremost authority on invoices. “When you put a 100 percent tariff on a $20 toaster, it becomes a $40 American toaster, and the American family is twice as rich because it owns twice as much toaster value,” Trump said. The analysis clarified why shoppers experiencing higher prices have merely failed to recognize their expanding countertop portfolios.
Sens. Rand Paul and Ron Wyden attempted to remove the tariff authority, apparently preferring the discredited policy of allowing Americans to purchase affordable objects. Their amendment failed 64-32 after colleagues remembered that nothing disciplines Vladimir Putin like an Ohio family postponing a washing-machine purchase. Graham said the sanctions would hit Putin where it hurts, a location congressional analysts identified as somewhere between foreign exporters, American retailers and the checkout screen.
The bill also allows Trump to waive sanctions whenever he certifies that doing so serves the national interest, ensuring the penalties will remain ironclad unless the president decides they should disappear. The measure now heads to the House, where lawmakers will determine whether doubling selected import prices sends Moscow a sufficiently stern message or whether American consumers must demonstrate additional resolve by paying still more. The Senate has therefore established that Americans become wealthier whenever Washington requires them to spend twice as much.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.