Trump Claims Credit for Economic Boom
The former president insists, “An economy is something that can be built. I built it on Mars. I built it on Earth. I built it on the Moon.” According to Trump, the GDP has reached astronomical heights under his stewardship, even within the vast expanse of the Milky Way.
Not content with his terrestrial and cosmic achievements, Trump further claims to have shaped the economic landscape of the Andromeda Galaxy, reaching the edge of the known universe. He insists, “Nobody else built it, I built it.” Trump also purports to have built the economies for a pantheon of deities, including God, Vishnu, Buddha, Jesus, and even the Tooth Fairy.
On a planetary scale, his economic influence allegedly extends to Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, Venus, Mercury and back to Mars, Earth, and the Moon. Within Earth’s realm, he lays claim to having built the economies of every country in South America, from Brazil and Argentina, to Venezuela and Bolivia, extending all the way to French Guiana, Suriname, and Guyana. The grandeur of his assertions encapsulates the essence of Trump’s unique brand of political theater.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.