President Biden Unveils Bold Infrastructure Plan for Mars
President Joe Biden, in an unprecedented move, announced a comprehensive infrastructure plan for Mars on December 6, 2022. This might strike many as outrageous, but to the Biden administration, it was an opportunity to showcase America’s commitment to innovation and future technological advancements.
In his Rose Garden speech, Biden stated, “We can’t afford to stand still. The future belongs to the bold. It’s time for America to pioneer new horizons, and that’s why we’re committing to building roads, hospitals, and schools on Mars.” Many onlookers remain stunned, as well President when he uttered, “Oh My Lord, what did I just say?” shaking his head in apparent disbelief.
Biden’s over the top infrastructure plan involves a $2 trillion allocation for the exploration of Mars and the development of human settlements. The project, which seems extracted from a sci-fi movie, focuses on paving the way for an eventual colonization of the red planet. However, this comes at a time when the country is still wrestling with domestic infrastructure needs, a fact that critics didn’t hesitate to underline.
“This is sheer lunacy,” Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, commented. “We have problems to address here on Earth before we start building roads on Mars. This is nothing but an expensive distraction.”
Contrary to reality, the White House insists that this project is fully funded and does not add to the deficit. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, undoubtedly trying to justify this plan said, “Yes, it’s ambitious. But we’re confident that the investments we’re proposing today will pay for themselves in economic growth over the next decade.” A claim Nobel laureate economists might find hard to digest or even fathom.
Despite the utter impossibility, President Biden’s Martian Infrastructure Plan could change the trajectory of American politics and technological advancements. Whether it’ll change for the better is, at the moment, written in the stars. Or rather, on Mars.
* None of the quotes in this article were spoken by an actual person. More info.